We’re in the midst of a cultural crisis. We've become so apathetic, depressed, and feel like victims to the world. This is what Tom Robbins calls the tyranny of the dull mind.

In this newsletter, we will explore how we got caught in this mess—the actions and patterns that lead to a downward spiral into the dull mind. We'll delve into the benefits of going through the grueling inner work of clawing our way out of this reality and into a more beautiful one. Additionally, we'll discuss some potential avenues to make the shift.

What is the Problem?

We’re apathetic. We feel like victims. We lack passion and purpose. We don’t have clear missions that we’re working towards. We don’t know what we're doing in our life. We’ve let bullshit (in the technical definition of the word) corrode our being like a virus. We don’t stand up for what we believe in. We lack clear virtues from which to judge the quality of our choices and actions. We’re lost, aimless, indecisive. We distract ourselves from pain. We don’t introspect into the motives of our actions that cause pain to others. In short, we’re utterly apathetic and beaten down in the face of life. We’ve given up. We’re not even trying anymore. We want other people to take care of us because we feel sorry for ourselves. We’ve lost all care for the true, the good, and the beautiful because we’ve entirely checked out from life (the epitome of the defilement of ignorance in Buddhism). This is the problem that we must overcome. This is the real battle that we’re up against on a cultural level.

Essentially, this shows up as dying to be anywhere other than right here and right now, and the thousands of behavioral patterns and addictions that arise out of this fundamental dissatisfaction with being right here.

It shows up as addiction to: coffee, alcohol, weed, porn, Netflix, social media, blaming, scapegoating, feeling like a victim, manipulating, gambling, tobacco, shopping, overeating, overworking/workaholism, video games, sugar, perfectionism, validation-seeking, pessimism, worrying, approval, fame, judging, power, success, busyness, productivity, gossiping, self-deprecation, comparison, people-pleasing, nihilism, intellectualizing, political mudslinging, passive aggressiveness, and the list could go on forever.

Essentially, our entire personalities have been co-opted by this virus of the soul. This virus tells us that we’re too small to make a difference in the world, and so, what’s the point of showing up to live with invigoration, drive, passion, and ambition.

As my friend Eric Brown put it:

We’ve entirely bought into bullshit, into the propaganda that is being fed to us as a result of the incentives of global systems. We’ve bought into the bullshit political polarization that says that one side of a polarity could actually be completely right and the other side could be completely wrong.

The technical definition of bullshit is that we’re disconnected from the truth altogether. There is no care to know what the truth is. The liar and the truth-teller are on two sides of the same coin. They both value truth, and one chooses to hide it while the other chooses to reveal it. Both respond to the facts of the matter as they understand them. The bullshit artist, on the other hand, tries to deceive and redirect attention away from the value of truth altogether. Therefore, bullshit is a greater enemy of the truth than lies are. It shows up as a complete indifference to how things really are. In other words, the dull mind, the apathetic spirit. On a collective level, we’re drowning in bullshit. Our actions and speech are disconnected from any real purpose. We’re living lives of insincere triviality that lack any substance or content. Our sources of information have been emptied of all that is meaningful, and we’re stuck trying to make sense of the world with nothing to actually work with.

That being said, let’s look at where we can go. What’s the alternative here?

The More Beautiful Vision for Life

The alternative is that we’re invigorated to be alive in each and every moment. We’re in touch with the awe and beauty of existence, and we’ve developed the capacities to sit with incredible challenge and difficulty in the world and to stay empowered and agentic in spite of intense external situations.

That we viscerally know how short and fragile our lives are, and rather than being depressed by this, the awareness of it leads to an outpouring of life force and to an intense experience of life that is unknown to most. Where every single act counts. Each deed is done as if it were the last. Where there is no time for anything but meaningful acts because we live with death as our eternal compass guiding and infusing all meaning into all of our choices.

The imminence of death energizes us to take decisive action. To engage with life fully. To see that there is no time for hesitation or indecision. We feel the depth of how indecisiveness wastes so much of our life force and causes us to resist and fight with every decision that we must make. It creates extreme internal conflict and dullness of mind. When we’re indecisive, many decisions are made for us by default. For example, if we don’t move viciously towards the deepest purpose of our life and align our finances with that, then society will choose a vocation for us. We’ll be stuck in a job we hate because "it’s the only way to make money and pay the bills."

The alternative is to stand up for what we believe in. To be so crystal clear on our values that when something comes into our life that is out of integrity with those values, we choose to set boundaries against it such that our lives don’t spiral into chaos.

We look at the things we don’t want to look at. We cultivate a life that is energetic, decisive, courageous, enduring, persevering, and loyal to some greater good beyond our own personal gain. We cultivate a fearless and unconquerable spirit that takes responsibility for every aspect of life and uses self-discipline to accomplish that.

Life is centered around what is meaningful. The pain doesn’t go away, but it’s met with this courageous, meaningful energy and is experienced in that way, as opposed to being leveled by it and not being able to recover — ever.

It means to train each and every day to be all that we can be. To take an aggressive/assertive stance towards life that rouses, energizes, and motivates. Where the dull mind is constantly on the defensive and reacting to the struggles of life, the alive mind is on the offensive constantly. Being proactive and addressing challenges before they meet us at our front door. The training involves practicing being alert, awake, and focused in mind-body-heart-spirit. This requires intense dedication and commitment because our culture has a hegemony on apathy and victimhood. The entirety of our training and discipline is required to counteract that and live in such

a way that is deeply focused and committed to values beyond personal reward.

The alternative is that we become extremely psychologically resilient and can meet the challenges of the world head-on. The difficulty of the world will never become easier, but how we meet it can change. And through this resiliency training, we learn what it is we’re fighting for.

The act of training isn’t just to become mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically stronger. It’s also a discovery process in which we realize what challenges we feel most called to step up to and tackle. A spirit is cultivated that doesn’t give up when times get hard.

There is an aliveness that is awakened in the heart. In every moment of our lives, deep presence, care, truth, and service are cultivated. And the difficulty of being in this space 24/7 is far outweighed by the satisfaction that comes with moving towards what is meaningful.

To the dull mind, there is a constant need for reassurance and validation. The alternative is being so rooted in decisiveness and power and the ability to face pain that no reassurance or validation is needed to comfort us whatsoever.

Ultimately, we would want to cultivate an alive mind because there is a reality in which we can be intimately connected to all that is in each moment. Existence can be so beautiful in each moment that we’re brought to tears by it, even the pain and struggle of existence—all encompassed in the heart-aching beauty of it all.

Making the Shift

The shift is challenging. I am still in the process of it myself, struggling each day with the difficulties of stepping into this new reality. Some days, the temptations of apathy and dullness are unbearable. They make me doubt why I am striving for this change so much. The only thing to do is continually re-commit to what is meaningful, what is hard, and the service that wants to come forth from the root of my being.

To overcome the tyranny of the dull mind requires that we become:

Default Aggressive / Being Proactive

We can't wait for the world to give us challenges before we step up to them. If life feels easy right now, then that's the perfect moment to train and face voluntary hardships. We must create plans of action constantly.

Learning how to be strategic and constantly putting together plans to get clear on what is required to overcome the internal obstacles and apathy that we face is essential.

Proactivity MUST be our modus operandi. There is no other option. Without the courage to be honest with where we lack development and facing the challenge with an equally intense desire and commitment to overcome it, we will get stuck in indecision and apathy.

Indecision is the enemy of all growth. It keeps us stuck in the feeling of confusion and overwhelm. At the root of it, confusion and overwhelm are coping mechanisms. They're psychological addictions to help us avoid confronting the pain of making potentially wrong decisions and failing in the process of moving towards something meaningful.

We can start by questioning why our minds don’t want to take responsibility (both collective and personal responsibility). At the end of the day, it feels safe to be small. It feels known. To step up into a proactive relationship with life requires that we sacrifice that smallness. We sacrifice the payoffs we get from our doubt, confusion, and never-ending overwhelm.

As David Perell wrote in his article The Paradox of Ambition:

With ambition guided by deep beauty and truth, there is no time for hesitation. This moment right now is the most important moment of your life, and it will always be the most important moment in all of eternity.

To say:

To fully embody this shift requires that we realize that there are problems, both internal and external, that we’re currently facing in our life. We must name the problem, get clear on the nature of it. Then we break the problem down into its constituent elements and enact the smallest implementable steps that we can take to address the problem head-on. Then we implement and actually follow through and execute on the plan. Then we progress towards it and in the progressing towards it, meaning is generated.

Facing the Reality of Suffering and Loneliness Head-On

The core realization to wake up to the reality of the situation is that none of these external solutions are ever going to solve the feeling of loneliness and apathy within. That we must choose to face the pain of our existence and the feeling of disconnection head-on. Any avoidance of facing the pain of our own loneliness and on a deeper level separation from existence only intensifies the dullness of the spirit.

We must turn inward. We must face the demons. We must push the limits of the degree of internal pain that we can handle while staying awake, alert and conscious. We can’t escape the fact that if we distract ourselves from pain then apathy, indifference and numbness are the only possible states of being we will solidify in.

This also requires that we stop repressing and seeing difficult and challenging experiences as bad or wrong. Something I’m still working on embodying myself. When we experience disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear, instead of being bad news, are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that we’re holding back.

We begin to see that people and situations that trigger our unresolved patterns are actually great news. They give us a moment of respite from unconsciousness and allow us the opportunity to notice how we react. A simple practice I’ve been loving is asking “Why did I do that?” whenever my motives aren’t quite clear.

When someone praises me, how do I react? When someone blames me, how do I react? When I’ve lost something worth loving, how do I react? When we feel I’ve gained something, how do we react?

Why do I do/react the way I do? Getting really curious about this in the midst of the intense psychological pains that surface as a result of our triggers getting poked.

This often requires being lonely without resolution, when everything in my being yearns to

be cheered up and to feel better. To be lonely without an alternative, content to face the experience as it is. Fully AS IT IS. All founded on the recognition that no experience will ever resolve itself until it has taught us what we need to know. We must give up hope that there is something better to be experienced in this very moment (somewhere better to be, something better to do) and instead relax with where and who we are.

Deep down we must internalize that to feel suffering doesn’t imply anything about us as human beings. It just means that we’re human and suffering is a part of this life.

Even more difficult, and one that I’m still not embodying very well is to be in this space and to not shut anyone out of the heart. It feels safer to be in the pain alone. And sometimes being in it alone is what is required. But sometimes people ask us how we’re doing with genuine care and to shut them out is the cowardly move. It causes us to become more fearful, more hardened, and more alienated (aka apathetic, victimized and in the tyranny of the dull mind.)

I love what Pema Chödrön wrote:

Becoming Conscious of Motives

The next piece of overcoming dullness is to put in the internal work of becoming conscious of our motives. What I mean by this is that in every moment we’re acting from a certain place. This place can be more or less pure. The more pure it is, the more it’s coming from deep truth, honesty, integrity and in service of loving all that is, exactly as it is, and not needing it to be any different.

Although living this in every single situation and moment we find ourselves in is virtually impossible. But this doesn’t mean that it’s not worth aspiring to. Honesty, truth, integrity and service to loving all that is, exist on a spectrum. It’s not black and white. How could it be? It’s all about degrees. The question is more “To what degree can I give myself over to truth, honesty, integrity and loving what is, exactly as it is?” and striving to progressively deepen the degree to which we embody these values.

This is not easy because oftentimes it’s unclear why we may have acted dishonestly. It requires deep introspection to really become conscious of the ways our psyche is fragmented and therefore acting from motives that are partial, internally conflicted, dishonest, and wanting things to be different than they are.

The reason this work is worth doing is that when our motives are impure, our actions cause more suffering than they resolve. We act out to satisfy selfish desires.

This is directly related to overcoming the tyranny of the dull mind because if we feel apathetic, we will likely come from the motive of wanting other people to feel sorry for us or support us because we feel sorry for ourselves. The impure motive is this: I can’t handle my internal reality because it’s too intense so I’m going to use apathy to manipulate you to feel sorry for me such that I can get my needs met (especially my need to feel love and belonging).

Overcoming Weakness and Fear

Sometimes it’s as simple as feeling weak and fearful. To feel powerful is scary. To stand up for ourselves feels scary, but it’s what is required to be able to live in full integrity. We must stand up for what we believe in and we must set boundaries against the forces of culture that attempt to destroy that which is worth loving. The forces of apathy, indifference, and hatred that attempt to color reality as something that isn’t beautiful. We must exist to protect the beauty that is beginning to flourish. To steward a more beautiful reality with all of our intensity, power, fearlessness and courage. And ultimately when we show up with courage consistently then we eventually completely dissolve the feeling of being a victim to reality.

Trust that you have good ideas, beautiful ideas that the world needs to hear and have the desire to share them. Again, I don’t fully embody this but I strive to. This newsletter is my way of overcoming the fear of expressing what is true for me and the ideas that I feel are worth sharing but that I fear I will get criticism and pushback for.

Every decision is saying yes to one value and no to another value. When we realize this we see how every single choice we make in our lives is either in service of something beautiful or destructive of something that is beautiful. The dull mind has no values and therefore isn’t in service of anything. Choices are made, and because there is no clarity behind the values they aren’t in service of anything. The choices just perpetuate the dullness that is already present.

To not only be clear on our core values but also to stand for them in the face of an unconscious society. Which brings us to our next point.

Having a Purpose and a Mission

Having a sequoia-rooted purpose and mission is one of the most effective antidotes to dullness and nihilism that I’ve ever found.

To discover what is mine to show up for and the individual dharma and contribution that I want to make to humanity is more enlivening than almost anything. Well, not just discovering it but being default aggressive towards seeing it manifest in reality. There is something so empowering about knowing where you’re going and what you’re doing in life and having a plan for how to get there.

Then assuming responsibility for all decisions to ensure that our life is moving towards that thing and stopping the awful habit of asking other people to make decisions for us.

To do so we must have extremely high standards for ourselves and how it is we want to impact humanity in a positive way and standing by it amidst culture wars, petty human bullshit, mass paranoia and media-based fear, etc.

What’s most important is that the vision and purpose are clear. The how doesn’t have to be clear right away. I’ve found that just knowing what the next 2 steps are is what is most important. The rest will reveal itself through walking.

The World is Worth Fighting For

As I was just writing the section of this piece titled The More Beautiful Vision for Life, I was literally brought to tears. I can feel it in my bones. It’s pulsing through my veins. There is a different way to live. The normal is not normal. What is normal on a cultural level is pathetic, it’s depressing, it doesn’t get anywhere near honoring the potential of mankind.

On the deepest possible level, overcoming the dull mind involves rooting into the fact that the world is beautiful and I can and will devote myself to fighting for a world where every single human feels that they’re worth loving and that life is worth living. This is the world I want to live in and I will devote myself to do until the day that I die.

I will not put up with the idea that life is dull, meaningless, nihilistic and gray and that there is nothing worth doing. I see the beauty and I see the potential of life and I will not give up on the world, on humanity. There are atrocities happening in the world, wars being fought, painful realities all around us and amidst all this I will not choose apathy. The pain is worth experiencing

The suffering is worth experiencing. Caring even when there is darkness. Loving even when there is pain.

I see your potential.

I see the beauty in your existence.

Thank you for reading.