There's something about depth that fascinates me, drawing me in with a strong, unexplainable pull. Ever since I can remember I’ve been exploring Buddhist Awakening Practices, learning about altered states of consciousness, and reading voraciously.

I’ve experimented with as many depth-realization practices as I can think of. It’s always seemed more important to utilize my time to explore consciousness than to party and go to music festivals and raves. Even now, it still feels like a long game move to stay in and commit myself to depth training, learning how to say no to fun events that wouldn’t move the needle around depth.

The inception of 'The Depth Equation'

I’ve been writing newsletters and articles like these for the better part of 8 years. Don’t believe me? My first blog is still live and the archives are all there (even back then there were posts on meditation and cultural dynamics). With time the complexity and nuance of the writing has increased. As a result I started a podcast to develop more long-form thinking with myself and with others.

Personal frustrations with superficial self-improvement methods

Amidst the continuation of these projects I’ve had a continual sense that self-improvement never quite satisfies. I’ve been surrounded with information in the form of youtube videos, books, podcasts, lectures, courses, you name it. They all seem to help in their own way, but none of them have been deeply satisfying and fulfilling. Despite all of this developmental work I’ve always been left feeling incomplete and lacking.

Nothing quite went deep enough. It was all good, but surface-level to some degree. For example, it’s good to learn how to be confident, but what is actually at the root of the lack of confidence. Is it really our mentality? Or is it something deeper? Perhaps, the fact that my worldview and relationship to life was shaped by a culture that I have no control over and I believe that I’m somebody doing something important in the world all the while not being able to perceive reality clearly.

What would it look like to take a step back and look at the worldview and lens through which I experience life? This was the generative question for the birth of this book.

The Birth of a Book: From Chaos to Clarity

Ultimately, after trying to develop this line of thinking through the podcast and newsletter I eventually became frustrated with only being able to write a few thousand words at a time or a few hours of speaking at a time. I felt the call to develop my thinking into a multi-part book that lays out my thinking and process around the development of depth. An experience of life that is not only more profound, but also more connected to the truth of our experience. While also not denying the other facets of development like: relationships, health, cognition, morality, etc.

I started writing it with no idea what it would look like, just pounding away thousands of words on the keyboard day after day until some higher-order coherent object emerged from the chaotic ramblings of my psyche. This book was a year in the making. I toiled and tried to get it just right. At some point, I realized it’s never going to feel perfect. So, I chose to release it.

It’s called the The Depth Equation and I released it about 4 months ago.

What emerged is an exploration of the process of developing depth. An exploration of becoming.

Part 1 is an exploration of the foundations of becoming: reconciling paradox, exploring wisdom, deconstructing the self, and exploring the hindrances to becoming.

And Part 2 explores the architecture of becoming: the meta-skill of sensing what needs to be developed, engineering customized protocols/ecologies of practices for deepening meaning and holistic transformation, and finally how to shape individual environments for growth and a look into how culture shapes our becoming and how we shape culture in turn.

Here’s a peek into the table of contents to get a sense of what is covered.

The Two-Part Exploration in 'The Depth Equation'

The Foundations of Becoming

What I was seeking to explore here was really how it is we can deconstruct our worldview and sense of self, to see it as an object, mold it, and put it back together in a more loving, truthful and beautiful form.

Which then turned into an exploration of the many facets of this process including not only understanding what a worldview is and what it means to deconstruct it, but then also how environment and ecologies of practices play into this and shape our worldviews meaning that in order to fully work with this process we must get out of the purely conceptual and into the world of psycho-spiritual, emotional and also cultural and environmental design.

The Architecture of Becoming

Understanding paradox, wisdom, duality and worldview deconstruction is cool, but inhabiting it in each moment is a completely different story. This is what the second half of the book seeks to accomplish.

I’ve been heavily inspired by Professor John Vervaeke, specifically his teaching of building ecologies of practices to combat the meaning crisis. The essence of becoming is stacking practices together in a way that hits at the specific developmental deficiencies of the individual.

Integrating Multiple Developmental Axes

The base assumption of this book is that in order to develop ourselves we need to view the complexity of self in it’s entirety.

It’s a deep recognition that self, life and reality is complex. We can’t take reductionistic models of development and expect them to change our lives. We must approach the complexity of life with an equally as complex and depth-based approach to development.

We must develop not only spiritually, but also cognitively, interpersonally, ethically, physically, psychologically, emotionally, etc. It’s a lifelong process and it starts with developing complex approaches to development and enacting ecologies of practices that hit multiple of these lines of development at once.

Writing this book was my attempt to overcome this non-holistic developmental trap once and for all. To actually put together the maps needed to not only figure out what needs to be developed but also to figure out how to install the practices in one’s life that will deepen and cultivate those skills one needs to really show up for them.

Conclusion

The Depth Equation is my first piece of published literature. I’m excited to share it with all of you, who’ve been reading my writing from the beginning through this newsletter.

With Love,Ethan Nelson